Letting Things Happen Naturally With Ex

Letting Things Happen Naturally With Ex

It’s hard because many of us want to let go when we really haven’t done all that is within our power and control to do. We tell ourselves, “I’m letting go”, then suddenly realize “Oh! there is one more thing I can do”. So we rush in there and try to do it using the same old mindset

Letting Things Happen Naturally

In week 2, I said that if the answer to “Is this something within my control and therefore I can change” is “yes” then do what needs to be done to change it.

But if when you ask yourself, “Is this something within my control, and can I change it?” and the answer is “no” or “not at the moment,” then the best course of action is non-action, better known as letting go.

Before we go any further, it’s imperative to answer the question, “What does it mean to let go?

Rather than attempt to define what “letting go” means in general terms, I think it best to explain whatit means to take the action of non-action in context of a break-up:

1. Waiting for clarity or allowing the right action to arises by itself;

2. Pushing the “pause” button when you meet resistance;

3. Allowing one dream to die so that another takes it’s place.

After reading the articles on acceptance, it may seem that letting go and acceptance mean the same thing. Most people actually use the two words interchangeable. Acceptance and letting go are not the same thing. Acceptance comes before letting go.

In acceptance, you embrace what-is, recognize those things that are within your control and that can be changed, and act upon them. In letting go, you stop all the “efforting” (trying, worrying, and sometimes all the action).

In short, letting go is taking your mind and hands off whatever it is you are trying to do (and is just not happening) and giving yourself a rest from the “trying”. Our minds and hands are our “busiest” parts and most useful tools for making things happen, but our minds and hands are also our most active parts when it comes to controlling, manipulating and holding on.

When you take your mind and hands off, you get out of your own way. What you are saying is, “I’ve done everything within my power and control, and I’m still getting nowhere. I need to allow what needs to happen to happen.” You still act on what’s within your control, but as soon as something becomes a “struggle”, you let it go and wait for clarity (what presents itself without your effort) or for things to take their course. Sometimes, letting go means allowing the current dream to die and be replaced by a new dream.

Sounds easy, but why is letting go so hard?

It’s hard because many of us want to let go when we really haven’t done all that is within our power and control to do. We tell ourselves, “I’m letting go”, then suddenly realize “Oh! there is one more thing I can do”. So we rush in there and try to do it using the same old mindset, same old habits and behaviours, same old mind games etc. and when we get the same old result, we in frustration and hopelessness tell ourselves, “I’m letting go.” But since the mind is still busy, the mind comes up with one more thing you can do, and you yet again rush off to do it.

Almost always people who “let go” without doing all that is within their power to change and those that give up just because it’s hard, have lots  of regrets that come back to haunt them. They realize that they never should have let go of their ex when they did.

******************************************************
******************************************************

Letting go happens after all the doing, action steps have been taken, and there is nothing else left to DO.

******************************************************
******************************************************